Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Mental Preparation

I'm in the office. On the other side of the wall is Alex's room. All I can hear is a steady stream of giggling because he is watching America's Funniest Home Videos. It is his new favorite show. I'll take the sound of his giggles and guffaws over his usual whineyness anyday!

I was helping Tommy with a paper that he has to turn in tomorrow in his English class. I was proofreading and making grammatical corrections, when he dropped a bomb on me.

He said as I was reading, "If I ask you a question, will you promise not to go all crazy on me?"

"No. I reserve the right to go crazy at any time for any reason. What?"

"Have you been mentally preparing yourself for when your mom dies?"

"Yes. I don't want to talk about it. Drop it. Not a good time to discuss that right now. One more word and I will go Psycho bitch on you. And you asked for it."


Now, why would he ask a question like that? Well, let's see. My mom is a very bad diabetic, has high blood pressure, and is in the final stages of kidney failure. She had surgery on her left arm in September to create a fistula in preparation for dialysis. Last week, she contracted the flu (not the H1N1 flu, just the regular seasonal flu). This week it has morphed into pneumonia. Her family doctor did not admit her to the hospital but did take blood to check her kidney function. Her O2 level is very low and has been dropping each dr visit.

So, yes, I am trying to mentally prepare myself for when the time comes. I hope that it is not for many, many years but I need to prepare myself.

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